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Dating Tips

What Not to Wear on a Virtual Date

A date is a date is a date.

If someone invites you to get to know them (or vice versa) with the hope of a romantic connection as a result, that is a date. 

Whether this date takes place over drinks, a picnic in the park, or via Zoom, it is still a date.

So why aren’t we acting like it?

The nationwide quarantine threw single people across the country into a tailspin. How are you supposed to meet someone when you’re not allowed to leave your house? What exactly does “going on a date” even mean right now, and what will it look like in the near future? Is it okay to be thinking about your dating life when we’re in the midst of a pandemic? 

Dating is still on, and love was never cancelled, but in order to continue the search for your ideal match, you might have to tweak the process. Virtual dates—i.e. Video dates via Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp, and the like—are very much “real dates,” and you should treat them as such. Rolling out of bed five minutes before Date Night will inevitably give the wrong impression, and for someone who’s putting in the effort to meet someone right now, you’re really not showing that you’re taking it seriously.

While you may have exchanged a few flirty texts or even hopped on a “Hey! I’m real!” phone call with each other, sharing a glass of wine screen to screen is basically the same thing as doing so in a crowded cocktail bar. Save yourself the $14 pour of Sauvignon Blanc and start things off on the right foot by avoiding these 7 waist-up mistakes that should never be worn on a virtual first  date.

1. Dirty T-shirt

You’d think this would be common sense. You’d be wrong. Throwing on the first t-shirt you see laying on your floor communicates to your date, “I couldn’t care less about you,” and/or, “I almost forgot we were doing this entirely.” What a way to make someone swoon, no? Dirty t-shirts are for working out, lounging around, or mowing the lawn, not introducing yourself to the person you could conceivably spend the rest of your life with. 

What to wear instead: Literally whatever you would wear to an in-person date at a bar or restaurant. A button-up shirt, nice sweater, or flattering blouse lets the person you’re meeting know, “I take pride in myself and my appearance, and I respect you enough to put in some effort.”

2. Over-revealing top

Before you think you’re slick by commenting, “Heh heh, but you said a blouse was fine,” let’s back up and realize the difference between a flattering top and one that helps someone get to know a lot more about you than they have a right to on a first date. Something extremely low cut or sheer will be distracting, and while showing off your own brand of sexy is always encouraged, if your date isn’t able to concentrate on your stories about your trip to the Galapagos or your volunteer work with kids, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

What to wear instead: Keep it understatedly sexy. Whatever you’re comfortable and confident in—be that a ruffled neckline or even one-shouldered top that still provides décolleté coverage—will show that you’re comfortable in your own skin, but don’t want your skin to be the only thing they consider about you.

3. Yellow

If yellow is your favorite color, you feel your absolute best when wearing it, and doing so does not mean donning a Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt, then by all means, disregard this Don’t. That said, men and women agree that yellow is an unflattering color on almost everyone. Through a camera’s lens, it can make certain skin tones look pallid or sallow, and can reflect onto the lighter areas of your face making eyes look tired and teeth appear much duller than they are in real life. The brightness should come from your effervescent personality, not your clothing.

What to wear instead: Stick to the classics. Basic shades such as black and navy are universally flattering and won’t compete with the camera. If you’re jonesing for a little more color, jewel tones like emerald green and ruby red can make your eye and hair colors pop without being too jarring.

4. Hats

Many people are currently self conscious about their Quarantine Hair, making feeble attempts to hide their grown-out roots or extra inches of flow under baseball caps and wide-brim fedoras. When you’re making a CVS run, this is fine. But when you’re on a virtual date, you’re casting weird shadows on your face and causing the other person to wonder what exactly you’re hiding under there. The hat is supposed to be working for you, not against you. Take it off.

What to wear instead: If your hair situation really is so dire that you’re embarrassed to be seen, either try styling it in such a way that it’s presentable or simply confess that you, like most people across the country, haven’t had access to a salon or barber shop since March (it’s a great ice breaker!). If you admit that what you’re rocking isn’t your typical ‘do, feel free to send along photos of what you normally look like so they have some frame of reference to compare to.

5. Messy hair

Not wearing a hat does not mean letting whatever was under the hat go unattended to. A lopsided messy bun or rumpled cow lick doesn’t exactly say, “I was looking forward to this!” You could be wearing a stained yellow t-shirt (don’t), but if your hair looks clean and well-groomed, your date might agree to see you again. How well put together you appear starts at the top of your head, so the extra effort will be well worth it.

What to wear instead: While you shouldn’t feel the need to give yourself a Victoria’s Secret-esque blowout or spend 30 minutes perfecting your coif (and if you do, do you), running a brush through your hair and finishing with a spritz of hairspray before the date begins is a smart move. Paired with a nice blue sweater? You’re nailing it.

6. Sunglasses

This is not an early 2000s music video. There is no reason for you to be wearing sunglasses indoors. What people see when you pop up on the screen is their first impression of you, and if you’re wearing your shades inside at 8pm on a Friday, they’re bound to assume that you’re either hungover, high, just coming out of Lasik surgery, or channeling Anna Wintour, and that isn’t a good thing.

What to wear instead: Nothing. There is no alternative here.

7. Distracting jewelry

Cool earrings or an interesting necklace are fantastic conversation starters, and allow you to share your personality without saying a word. Your favorite jewelry will help you feel confident, which is the boost we all need when meeting someone new. Just make sure it’s a silent guest to your virtual date. Bangles jingling, clacking ring stacks, and lip piercings that make you tough to understand are just going to complicate things, and further sidetrack the conversation.

What to wear instead: Give a nod to Coco Chanel and take one thing off before you hit the “Join” button. If you have a signature piece that you always wear, leave it on and talk about it. However, if you’re so weighed down by baubles that you resemble Mr. T and sound like the ghost of Jacob Marley is passing through your living room, it’s all too much. 

Three Day Rule Matchmaking is an exclusive matchmaking company with experts dedicated to helping singles take charge of their dating lives. They customize matches to fit their members’ lifestyles, only introducing them to the best dates. To join Three Day Rule’s free and private online dating pool, sign up here or email Skylar at skylar@threedayrule.com.

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Dating Tips

25 Tips When You’re Single and Quarantined From The Coronavirus

During the coronavirus scare, you may have been quarantined for coming into contact with someone who tested positive for coronavirus. Once quarantined your social life is going to decline, you’ll stop dating, and stop meeting altogether. Make sure you’re responsible and take full direction from a doctor. This piece is not a medical one. Speak with a licensed physician for advice.

Assuming you’re quarantined, you have a lot more time on your hands. The time is actually an opportunity. Here are 25 tips when you’re single and quarantined from the coronavirus.

1. FaceTime friends

During this time you will lack any social connection. FaceTiming is the closest you will get to having a personal connection with a friend. Share something that you love about them. Make a call that you’ve been avoiding. Use this time to take a risk.

2. FaceTime family

Use this time to catch up with your family. FaceTime them so you can feel truly connected. With our busy schedules, it easy to be distant from family.

3. Cancel plans for the next 2 weeks

This is an obvious step, but you’ll have to cancel your in-person plans for the next 2 weeks. Be responsible and seek out a licensed physician for appropriate advice.

4. Delete your dating apps. 

Assuming you’re single, delete your dating apps. Use this time to stop swiping and focus on things you want to accomplish over your next 2 weeks. There’s no point to swipe if you can’t meet them for at least 2 weeks. Break your swiping addiction and do a detox.

5. Use Filter Off on Friday night 

Maybe we’re biased, but attend Filter Off’s video speed dating events every Friday night. Again, FaceTiming allows you to create real connections and set plans when you’re back out of the house.

6. Workout

There is no excuse to not workout. Sure, you can’t go to the gym, but you can definitely work out at home. Leave your yoga mat and weights out. On calls pick up the weights and do some curls. If you have no weights, do some push-ups or dips on your couch or pick up a pair of weights here. Check out Fraser Wilson on Instagram. He has a ton of workouts that you can do at your home with or without weights.

7. Do pushups in between meetings

In between meetings, do some pushups. Aside from lifting weights, keep yourself moving throughout the day.

8. Do yoga 

Your body may become tight from all the sitting at home. If you can stand great. If you can do some yoga and stretch, you will keep your body feeling good over the next two weeks.

9. Meditate 

You may become stressed at times. Meditation can keep you grounded and calm your mind.

10. Plan a trip a few months out

You may be feeling a bit lonely so plan ahead. Think about what you want to do when the quarantine ends. Stick to a road trip with a friend and plan a fun itinerary. There is no point to fly since your flight may likely get canceled or you may not be able to get back into the States. But regardless, plan so you have things to look forward to when you’re out.

11. Take a bath

Once quarantined, run a bath for yourself and relax. Treat yourself with a bath and allow yourself to unwind. Take a look at a bath bomb, offering different essential oils.

12. Ask your friends to do your groceries or order online

If your fridge is empty, send your friends a list of items you’d like delivered, or use Amazon Whole Foods delivery and get the food delivered to your door. Enjoy yourself. You’ll likely be saving money by not leaving your home, so splurge a little (even though the stock market is down) on extra food and maybe some wine.

13. Buy new boxers or briefs if you run out

When quarantined in your home from the coronavirus, there’s no need to do your makeup or dress up. You can literally just wear boxers or underwear and a shirt. However, you may not have 14 pairs, and please don’t reuse them. You may not have laundry within your home, so worst case you can buy more boxers on Amazon or use an online service to pick up your laundry.

14. Get sleep

Use this time to sleep. Are you not hitting the recommended 7 1/2 hours lately? Fitbit is a great way to track your sleep. If you’re not, use your coronavirus quarantine to get in your ZZ’s.

15. Take care of your mental health

This cannot be understated. If you’re feeling depressed or down call the Crisis Text Line or check out resources like 18percent, a 24/7 free peer to peer support group.

16. Watch Netflix 

Use this time, to catch up on your favorite shows. Here is a top list on Netflix.

17. Read or listen to a book on tape

Read a book or read on your Kindle. Without using dating apps, you’ll have a ton more time to actually read a great book. If you’re not a fan of reading, check out Audible, a simple way to listen to books online.

18. Listen to music

Listen to your favorite playlist or create a new one. Explore new music as well on Release Radar on Spotify.

19. Don’t freak people out

Be responsible. If you’re quarantined, try not to freak out your friends and co-workers. Again, listen to your doctor and take their recommendations.

20. Clean your house/apartment

You’re going to be hanging out in your house or apartment for the next two weeks, so at least make sure it’s clean. If it’s not, buy some supplies on Amazon and make sure you have a good vacuum.

21. Do your taxes

Conveniently, taxes are due April 15th, so it’s time to do your taxes! Call your accountant and do your taxes with him or her virtually, or you can use one of the many online services to do it on your own.

22. Catch up on emails

How’s your inbox looking? Shoot to get to inbox zero and have peace of mind. Now is your opportunity.

23. Write a list of goals to accomplish during your quarantine

This seems like an obvious one, but take the time to reflect and ask yourself what do I want to achieve over the next two weeks. It’s a unique situation to be in, so take advantage of the time you have for yourself.

24. Take an online course

Expand your skill-set. Use the time to upskill. Maybe you’re looking for a new job or have always been putting off learning a new skill. Now here is your chance.

25. Explore a new hobby

Being self quarantined does limit you from certain new hobbies to explore, but there are tons that you can do online or at the comfort of your own home. Some hobbies can include drawing, sewing, blogging, coding, baking, and many more.

I hope this article helps you take the time to really reflect on what you’d like to achieve being quarantined for the next two weeks. If you do come down with a fever call your physician ASAP. Don’t make light of this situation. Hopefully, you become a better person and continue your personal growth after all of this.

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Dating Tips

18 Reasons Online Dating Sucks

Online dating sucks. You spend time swiping for hours, spending money on dates you don’t enjoy, and being catfished. It’s a rough scene when it comes to online dating. Below are 18 reasons online dating sucks.

Reasons Online Dating Sucks

1. Time to Swipe & Message

Swiping and messaging on an online dating app takes time. You first have to swipe for hours. You’ll begin to match with a few people. You then need to message those people within the app. The majority of those people never message you back, but there’s a glimmer of hope. A few do message you back. The majority of those in-app messages go nowhere. One seems like it’s going somewhere. You ask for their number. They give you their number. You text them. The text you back. This proceeds for a few more days. You finally ask them out. You eventually go out.

It’s an exhausting process, but that’s the typical process when it comes to online dating apps. It’s a time suck.

online dating takes a lot of time to swipe

2. Cost

Going on dates cost money, and typically it’s not cheap. As a man in a major city like NYC, you have the cost of a subway ($5.50 round trip) and the costs of drinks. If you have 2 drinks each, your bill with tip is at least $60. That’s not cheap to be spending on someone you don’t really know! Aside from the cost of the date, dating apps can be costly. Tinder, for example, allows you to Super Boost upwards of $50 to have your profile seen 100x more. With dating apps, you often feel like you need to purchase their premium features to actually go on dates.

3. Catfishing

After texting for weeks you finally meet! You’re so excited, but when you sit down at the bar, your date looks nothing like their photos. Unfortunately, catfishing on dating apps is not uncommon. With filters, it’s hard to get a good representation of a person. 

4. People lie on their online dating profiles

People lie on their online dating profiles. Whether it be their age, height, income. The list goes on and on. It’s also difficult to determine whether your date is being honest. It can take weeks if not months to start to get a full picture of your date. 

5. Last-minute cancellations 

You just had your 9-5, you cook dinner, shower, and get ready for your date. But then you get the dreaded text 30 minutes beforehand. “Hey! So sorry something came up.” It’s happened to all of us and it sucks. Aside from killing our plans, it leaves us feeling crappy and ready to give up on online dating altogether.

6. Ghosting after the date 

Another reason why online dating sucks is ghosting. Many people would rather ghost then tell you that they are just not that into you. I get it, people are uncomfortable in hurting someone’s feelings, but if you begin to avoid someone’s texts that’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone.

online dating can be depressing

7. Not vibing on date

After texting for weeks, you may think you found your person, however, texting is an unreliable source on whether you have chemistry with this person. The only way to really determine whether you’re a good match is to see each other face to face. According to Inc, you determine whether you’re into someone in just 3 seconds. 

8. Never-ending text messages

We all do it. We think texting is an actual conversation. Sadly it’s not. It’s a good way to confirm plans, but not to have a conversation to get to know one another. Before going on a first date, the never-ending texting conversation can seriously feel just like that…never-ending. Instead of texting, meet them in-person or perhaps jump on a video chat.

9. They may be thinking about their other dates 

When you go on a date, that guy or girl may have just gotten off a date. Or more likely, have been on a couple other dates just that week. In short, you’re just another date. Whether it works out or not is to be determined, but yes you’re not the first person they may be dating that month. 

10. Expectations

What is your date actually looking for? Sex, a long-term relationship, friends with benefits? It’s tough to determine from a profile photo and a brief photo. Tinder nowadays has been deemed a hookup app, so you really don’t know what you’re getting until you go on your first date. The actions of your dates are a better indicator than what they may say they are looking for over text. 

11. Dick pics

Especially as a woman, you may get a ton of unsolicited dick pics. For some reason, men think it’s socially appropriate to send a pic of them masturbating. It’s absolutely disgusting and stupid. At that point, they’re just trying to get off. Hit the block button if they send one. 

12. Paradox of choice

In short, the paralysis of choice is a phenomenon that when you have too many choices it leads to anxiety and makes it extremely difficult to make a choice at all. With online dating, you have infinite choices. Once you begin seeing someone you’ll see someone who may seem better for you. How do you combat the choice especially when it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side? The what if’s of meeting someone better is intoxicating for many online daters.

13. Stress

Online dating is stressful. Being stressed out in the online dating scene is not uncommon. You may be stressed that you’re single and still haven’t found your person. You may be stressed because you have to commit to spending time swiping. Or perhaps you’re stressed because you’ve been ghosted a number of times and unsure what you’re doing wrong. The list goes on and on. 

14. Scams 

Online dating has attracted prostitution and shady individuals looking to profit off you. Do not send money to someone in exchange they will meet you or send you a nude photo. Aside from it being illegal, they may just take your money and block you. 

15. Algorithms are unreliable 

Many dating apps claim that they can find you your perfect match, however, it’s BS since there is no algorithm to find love. Finding love is about putting yourself out there and attending events/hobbies that you personally enjoy. If you love to salsa dance, attend a salsa class. If you enjoy volunteering, go for it. You may meet someone who shares your common interests.

16. Opportunity cost

Aside from online dating being a large time drain, it also is a huge opportunity cost, especially if the date is crummy. One way to minimize the risk of a bad first date is to jump on a quick FaceTime chat to see if you and your date vibe. The last thing that you want to do is attend a date and realize you’re not compatible. Instead of going on that bad date, you could have hit a bar or gone dancing with your friends instead. The one thing you can’t get back is your time. 

17. Safety

Online dating can be scary and potentially dangerous. If you do an online date, make sure to meet in a public setting. Feel them out before meeting somewhere that puts you in a vulnerable situation.

dont ignore the red flags when dating

18. Bots

Many dating apps are filled with bots. A bot is a fake user that imitates an actual human. It’s a nuisance and reconfirms why online dating sucks. 

As you can see the list is extensive on why online dating sucks. If you’d like to share other reasons why online dating sucks, shoot us an email at hello@getfilteroff.com

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Dating Tips

50 Dating Tips for 2020

With 2020 in full swing and still being single, you may have begun to second guess yourself on how you’re approaching dating. In the comprehensive list below, we go through 50 dating tips for 2020. Some of these dating tips may seem unconventional and will push you outside your comfort zone. However, discomfort isn’t bad, it allows you to grow. Stick with it and try out the dating tips for 2020 below! 

Here are 50 dating tips for 2020

1. Communicate your needs

Share what you’re looking for upfront with your date. If your date is looking only for a hookup and you’re looking for something serious, make it a hard pass. Set boundaries and follow through.

communicate your needs to your date

2. Don’t get attached to people you barely know

If you just meet and fall in love take a step back. You definitely don’t know them and you may be projecting on what you want them to be versus who they actually are. Give it a few dates and play it out. They may or may not be your ideal match.

3. If they stop texting don’t make a big deal about it

If they stop texting you and your intuition says that they’re not into you, either move on or follow up at a later date. Don’t stress out. There are so many fish in the sea. Sure, they may be busy, but if they’re genuinely interested in you they will take the time to meet up. Don’t obsess or overdo it. After a few messages without a response, it’s probably best to just give up.

4. Don’t let them talk you into waiting if they’re not ready

I like you but… These are the infamous words. If a guy or girl shares this and drags you along, at least be prepared for the worst. If they’re not ready for you now, will they ever be ready for you? Be upfront and share with them that you can’t be dragged along. See how they respond and really listen to understand why they’re dragging their feet.

5. Don’t stress out about labels

If you want labels, communicate it. If the person you’re dating doesn’t want to be considered your official boyfriend or girlfriend, you may have to think twice about whether they see this as something serious. Trust your gut, and have an honest conversation by asking them why they’re against labels? 

don't stress out about labels

6. Go on dates that excite you

You may be dying to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in 2020, but don’t go on dates just to go on dates. Sure practice can help, but if you begin to find yourself in a routine of going on dates that don’t excite you, you may have to take a hard look at yourself and decide whether that’s what you really want or not. It’s okay to reject people or turn down a date request if you’re really not feeling it. Respect your time as well as theirs. 

7. Stop putting in the effort if they’re not that into you

Do you feel like this relationship is one-sided? If so, you have to evaluate whether that is how you’d like to spend your energy. Someone who loves you and treats you right will put in the effort.

8. Don’t ignore the red flags

If there are a number of red flags that come up while dating, ask yourself if this is someone you actually want to be with. The last thing you want to do is wait and realize later on that they were not a fit after all. The one thing you can never get back is your time. In short, draw a line if there are a ton of red flags that make you uncomfortable by dating this person.

dont ignore the red flags when dating

9. Follow your intuition

Similar to other points, you must follow your intuition/gut when dating in 2020. If something seems off about this person or you really are not that into them, don’t waste your time or theirs. It’s okay to break it off.

10. Share your location with a friend on a first date

This is important for safety. If you’re meeting your date, share your location with a friend or enable the Find My Friends feature on your iPhone so your friend can see where you are. 

11. Ask for their Instagram

Everyone nowadays has an Instagram, unless you became addicted and had to forcibly delete the app. By asking for their Instagram you can get a snapshot into their life. Unfortunately, not everyone will share their Instagram, especially if they don’t know you. 

12. Go on FaceTime chat

This may be uneasy for some people to FaceTime/video chat before the date, but it’s the best way to see if they’re who they say they are. Apps like Filter Off or Bumble use video chat to prevent any sort of catfishing. Yes, it may be uneasy but what’s better, trying it out and feeling uncomfortable or showing up to the date only to realize you have been catfished?

13. Don’t go over to your dates house on the first date

This seems like an obvious one, but it’s so important to get a feel for your date before going to their house. Start with coffee or a drink in a public setting.

14. Meet in a public setting

Meet in a public setting where people are! It’s essential to not go to a desolate area on date number one. Your safety is a top priority. If your date asks to meet you in the park, that’s a hard no, aside from it being extremely creepy.

meet your online date in a public setting

15. Treat it as an experience/process

Dating is a process. You may be at the point of being frustrated but think of it as a process. Going on bad dates can actually be helpful in learning what you like and don’t like in people.

16. Wear protection

The last thing you want is to be tied to someone for the rest of your life unwillingly or receive an STD. Be smart and wear protection even if the guy or girl says you can pull out. Pulling out isn’t effective. Be smart and wear a condom.

if your date won't wear a condom

17. Be upfront about STD history

When you start sleeping together, you can have the conversation and get tested before you decide to not wear protection. However, if you’re not in a monogamous relationship this point is moot. 

18. Don’t be strong-armed into sexting / sending nudes

If your date asks you to send nudes or begins sexting you, it’s okay to say no. Don’t let them guilt you into something you don’t feel comfortable with. Also, pictures on the internet can live forever. You don’t want your photo showing up on a site or being shared with your date’s friends.  

19. Use the block button if they send an unsolicited pic

Unfortunately, when being on a dating app, many men have a tendency to send unsolicited pictures. Feel free to hit unmatch. If they send you one while texting, feel free to block them. 

20. Ask about past relationships

It’s natural to bring up previous relationships. Listen closely to how those relationships went and how they see their past exes. If they have all gone poorly and your date puts down every single one, that could be a red flag. History repeats itself, as they say… 

21. Do they have and/or want kids

Don’t be ashamed of asking about their past. It’s okay to ask if they have kids. It is up to you to decide whether you want to date someone with kids since that’s another layer of commitment, and potentially a big one. 

ask your date if they want or have kids

22. If they’ve been married

If you’re 30 and above, it is not uncommon to date someone that had been divorced. If they were divorced recently, they may still have battle scars. You can assess whether they’re up to date and the sort of relationship they’re looking for. This is up to you on whether you want to date previously married men or women. The likelihood of meeting divorcees obviously only increases with age.

23. Religion

Unfortunately or fortunately when you date someone you also somewhat date their family. Your date’s family may not want them to date you because of your religion. If this is the case, your relationship can end ugly, holding resent against the. Have an adult conversation on whether they’re okay dating you given the religious differences.

does their family want you to date someone of your religion

24. Don’t let someone pressure you

If your date pressures you even after you ask them to stop but they persist, it’s your call on whether that’s someone you want to be with. In all likelihood that will be the type of relationship you will have with them. Don’t get confused in someone pushing you to go outside your comfort zone versus flat out pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do.

25. Practice

When you first begin to date it may go poorly. Like anything, you are not a master at first. When you first begin to workout you hit the lightweights then progress to heavier and more complicated exercises. It is similar when it comes to dating. Don’t be hard on yourself if the first few dates are not ideal. Keep practicing and build the dating muscle for 2020. 

26. Don’t let your parents influence you

If you fall for someone and your parents tell you not to date them, it is up to you to on whether you want to sever the relationship. It is your life. Don’t let your parents run it. They won’t be here forever. 

27. Listen to advice with a grain of salt

Your friends may have their opinions about the person you’re seeing, but take it with a grain of salt. They may not have your best interest at heart and may be projecting their past experiences. Thank them for their feedback, but ultimately it’s your decision on who you date.

28. Share common values

Do you and the person you’re dating share common values? Opposites don’t always attract. Your date may be complementary, but if they don’t share fundamental values, your relationship is going to be a rocky one.

make sure your date shares common values

29. Don’t play games

It’s 2020, don’t play games in your relationship and pull at one’s heartstrings through manipulation. If you like them, treat them well. If you’re not feeling it, be honest. Don’t waste their time or yours.

30. Abuse

If you’re in an abusive relationship end it now. No one deserves physical or emotional abuse. It is common that the victim bonds with the abuser. This is known as Stockholm syndrome. If you’re being abused call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

break up if you're being abused by your boyfriend

31. Don’t date someone looking for validation

Once you begin to date, you may notice that they will constantly seek your approval in order to validate themselves. Make sure you’re hyper-aware of this. Unfortunately the person you’re dating may not be ready to date. This will lead to a challenging relationship as they will never think they’re enough. It is not your responsibility to make sure they feel validated.

32. Do they complement who you’re as a person

Finding someone to date in 2020 is quite different than in the past. Date someone who brings out the best qualities of you. Do they light you up? Can you learn from them? 

When you date someone who allows you to grow and vice versa, your relationship will thrive.

33. Do they make you feel good

This is essential to any friendship or relationship. If you begin to date someone and they make you feel crappy, break it off. It sounds obvious, yet people stay in relationships feeling this way. There are so many beautiful people out there. Don’t be around someone that saps your energy or makes you feel bad about yourself.

does your date make you feel good

34. Do you learn from them

If you’re 30 and begin dating someone and get married you may be with that person for 60+ years. Find someone that fascinates you and someone you can learn from. Don’t be with someone who is a bore. Looks fade, but knowledge and connection is ever-expanding.

35. Can they be your best friend

Similar to the last point, you may be with this person for the rest of your life. When dating, date someone that you consider your best friend versus someone who is fun to be around. Don’t sell your self short.

36. Don’t be afraid of making the first move

If you’re feeling it after your date go for the goodnight kiss. If it feels forced hold off until the next time you take them out. But remember you don’t need to kiss them after date number 1. Go for the long-game and don’t force it.

don't be afraid to make the first move on your date

37. Great sex

If your sex is lacking, that is a big deal in any relationship. Your sex can improve over time with your partner, but unfortunately you can’t win them all. Sometimes sexual chemistry is lacking.

You may be with this person for the rest of your life. If your sex is bad, you have to ask yourself honestly if that’s something you’re okay with living with. Sexual chemistry may not just be there.

make sure you have great sex in your relationship

38. Won’t wear a condom

If the guy refuses to wear a condom or says that he will pull out, say no. In the moment it may be hard to say no, but make sure to be stern on wearing protection. You will regret it in the morning and it will lead to unnecessary stress.

39. Respectful

This may seem obvious, but is your date respectful? How are they around your family? Your friends? Do they treat you like your best friend? If you feel otherwise, this is not a match.

40. Don’t cheat

Unfortunately, cheating happens and it sucks. If you feel the need to cheat on your partner, just break up with them. The emotional wounds that it can cause can last a lifelong. If you care about them, have a discussion on how you’re feeling or end it if you’re no longer feeling it.

41. Give compliments freely not to reciprocate

Giving compliments freely is the cheapest and one of the most effective forms of currency. Give them, just to give them without expecting anything in return. If you love the dress your partner is wearing, share that with her. If you love how he makes you feel good with his morning texts, acknowledge it and share how much he means to you. 

42. Take accountability for your actions

If you make a mistake own up to it. Don’t blame others. Accountability stems deeper than making mistakes. It is for every decision you make in your relationship. Once you hold yourself accountable for every decision in your life, that is when you will begin to see yourself as a powerful person. Whether the decision was a poor one or not, it’s a learning experience. You’re not going to bat a thousand. Life is a game of practice with success and failures. 

43. Be honest with yourself

What is it that you actually want? Do you no longer want to be in a relationship? Do you feel that he or she is not doing it for you? Time is the most expensive currency. A common mistake in relationships is trying to change your partner or hoping that your relationship will get better. Be upfront with yourself. Sometimes it takes time to realize that they’re not a fit, but don’t prolong the situation. You don’t want to wake up one day regretting that you never had the courage to be honest with yourself.

44. Be open to new experiences

There is nothing sexier than someone who is open to new experiences and trying new things. Life is an adventure. This is an essential dating tip for 2020. Be open to the opportunities that present themselves. 

be open to new experiences when dating someone

45. Don’t shy away from online dating

About 40% of heterosexual couples and 65% of same-sex couples meet on online dating, according to Market Watch. Don’t limit yourself from dating online.  

46. (Men) pay for your dates

Men, pay for your dates, especially in the beginning. If your date refuses when picking up the check, insist. If she refuses again, split it. When you begin to date more seriously you can discuss how you’d like to split the finances. That adjusts from couple to couple.

47. Don’t do expensive dinners on date #1

You meet this amazing woman from an app. She is beautiful and you would love to make a good impression. You go out for steaks with wine, appetizers, and dessert. $200 later, you realize you made a mistake. You weren’t that into her. In short, skip dinner on date one and start with drinks. You can even keep it to a drink each if you’re worried about costs. 

48. Don’t over text

Try to go on actual dates. Your match may seem like the perfect fit over text, but their texting skills don’t necessarily translate into how well you two will vibe in-person. Make plans, don’t over text, and meet. After meeting it’s up to you on how you’d like to communicate, but calling or FaceTiming is essential for communication for any relationship.

49. Don’t obsess after date #1

It’s easy to think he or she is the one after date number one. You start texting them how is your day multiple times a day. If you begin to feel this way, take a step back. Don’t text them for a day. Give yourself time to cool off and come back to reality. Another way to stop obsessing is to go on a few more dates to take your mind off your date that you are obsessing about. 

50. Date a few people until you find the right fit

Take your time. Go on dates. See what you like and what you don’t like in a person. Don’t settle just because they’re into you. 

date until you find the right fit

Dating in 2020 may seem overwhelming. You may feel like you will be single forever. Reflect on this list of dating tips for 2020 and see what’s missing when you date or in your current relationship. Dating is a process. You learn, you grow, and you evolve as you date into 2020. If you have other dating tips, shoot us an email at hello@getfilteroff.com

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Dating Tips

Best Subreddits for Dating

Filter Off put together a list of the top subreddits for people who are dating. Many people who are just beginning to date or trying a dating app for the first time may feel intimidated. They don’t know where to take their date or what dating app to use. The questions are endless. When you’re in that hole you don’t even know where to begin. The power of community is that others have been in your shoes. They can offer advice and even make recommendations having you feel confident about moving forward. With online dating, there are many things to look out for. Your date may be lying about their dating profile and may even be catfishing you. You may also have questions like when you should ask him or her out on the date. The list goes on and on. When going on a in-person date, the questions and concerns will only grow longer. Questions may include, Do I pay for the date? Where should I take her out?

Reddit offers a fantastic community that crowdsources information. Reddit offers subreddits that are specified topics that cater to an audience. The beauty of Reddit is that many of the users on subreddits have gone through similar experiences and have also started from square one, like where you may be now. They likely had similar questions that you’re now having.  You can also look at the most popular posts on subreddits in a given time period. Finding other frequently asked questions and concerns from other daters. You can use the subreddits to build knowledge in the area that you’re looking to learn about and in this case in the dating and online dating space. The subreddits below cover dating apps, catfishing, dating advice, and a way to make new friends.

you can see the online dating subreddit to get advice on dating apps like filter off
get advice on online dating from subreddit on apps like filter off video dating

List of Dating & Online Dating Subreddits

https://www.reddit.com/r/AlienExchange

https://www.reddit.com/r/amisexy_over30

https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMPersonals

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble

https://www.reddit.com/r/catfish

https://www.reddit.com/r/Chatpals

https://www.reddit.com/r/cuddlebuddies

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice

https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty

https://www.reddit.com/r/dirtyr4r

https://www.reddit.com/r/EqualAttraction

https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAloneDating

https://www.reddit.com/r/GamerPals

https://www.reddit.com/r/hardshipmates

https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp

https://www.reddit.com/r/hookup

https://www.reddit.com/r/InternetFriends

https://www.reddit.com/r/interracialdating

https://www.reddit.com/r/Kikpals

https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsChat

https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeNewFriendsHere

https://www.reddit.com/r/mingle

https://www.reddit.com/r/NeedAFriend

https://www.reddit.com/r/NSFWSkype

https://www.reddit.com/r/okc4okc

https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid

https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupidProfiles

https://www.reddit.com/r/OlderWomen

https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineDating

https://www.reddit.com/r/penpals

https://www.reddit.com/r/pickuplines

https://www.reddit.com/r/POF

https://www.reddit.com/r/r4r

https://www.reddit.com/r/R4R30Plus

https://www.reddit.com/r/Random_Acts_Of_Sex

https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfBlowJob

https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfMakingOut

https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfMuffDive

https://www.reddit.com/r/redditroommates

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice

https://www.reddit.com/r/Roleplaykik

https://www.reddit.com/r/sex

https://www.reddit.com/r/singles

https://www.reddit.com/r/tinder

Categories
Dating Tips

14 Ways Guys Lie on Their Online Dating Profiles

Approximately 50% of millennials have used dating apps. However, with the abundance of dating app users, many of these dating profiles are not truthful. As previously discussed, catfishing is a major issue. It’s not uncommon for guys to stretch the truth about their dating profiles or even flatly lie about it. It’s a crappy feeling to spend time chatting over text and to meet them in-person realizing they had lied. Unfortunately, it’s not always the first date when you realize they’ve been lying flat out. This can lead to a tremendous amount of time wasted and an emotional burden on oneself. 

Here are 14 ways guys lie on their dating profile.

1. Looking for a Relationship

As a woman, you may be online dating for a number of reasons. Perhaps you just had a breakup and want a bounce back. Or maybe you’re sick of guys that can’t commit and are looking for a relationship. The list goes on and on. So naturally, when you match with that hot guy with the perfect smile you pop the question, What are you looking for? He quickly responds by saying, A serious relationship. Hbu?

He may be honest or it could be a way to manipulate you. This article isn’t to man shame or make you distrustful of men. It’s about being cognizant that that man may be lying in his online dating profile, but in this case, the best way to find out is to go out with him. Get a feel. Does he immediately want to sleep with you and ask you to go back with him? Or does he send you off your way, saying that he’d love to see you again? You’ll get a feel by the end of the date.

guy lies on dating profile wanting a relationship

2. Fake Online Dating Pictures

Adding fake dating profile photos is cruel, but it’s not atypical for men to do. Why do they add fake photos to their online dating profile? Perhaps they’re either extremely insecure about their appearance and believe that when you two meet, you’ll forget what they look like. But no one forgets. So, what’s the solution?

There are a few. You can ask for the Instagram. However, not everyone will share their Instagram, especially if they don’t know you. Another idea is to FaceTime/video chat before the date. If you’re wary of their photos, you can use a reverse image search on Google. It’s free and fairly easy to do. You can do this by saving their photo on your computer, go to google images and drag that photo into your browser. If it’s a stock photo, it will show exactly where the photo is from displaying the URL.

3. Location 

Long-distance may not be an issue for everyone, but lying about one’s location is not uncommon. Perhaps you’re dating in NYC. You can always ask where in the City are you from. Your hope is that they’re honest if they’re living outside of the City. Then it’s up to you to decide whether you want to go out with them. 

4. Height

Let’s say you’re a guy who is 5’7”. Do you lie? Unfortunately, many men do, feeling insecure about their height. A man may claim with shoes they’re 5’9”. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing bad about being 5’7”, it’s only bad when a man lies about their height. My girlfriend recently went out with a guy who claimed to be 5’9”. When they met for drinks he was 5’4”. She ended up grabbing the drink with him because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but seriously men stop lying about your height! 

5. Age

I’ve seen this in two cases. If you date younger, some men may claim to be 21 when in reality they’re not. They can still get in the bars with their fake, but they don’t want you knowing that they still can’t legally drink. Or perhaps they look old for their age and you’re 32 and they’re really in their young 20s. There isn’t much to do to find out their true age without asking for the ID, but that’s a weird ask. Especially on date number one.

I’ve seen it go the other way as well. You’re in you’re 30s and they’re in their 50s, but he claims to be in his 40s. They don’t want you to feel like you’re dating your dad’s friend. I get it, but in that case, men shouldn’t be dating that much younger if they’re willing to lie about their age on their online dating profile.

guys die on their dating profile about their age

6. Hairline

Many men go bald or have a receding hairline, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The issue is when men display photos of themselves in their 20s with a full head of hair. Men, please be honest and again don’t waste your dates time. 

7. Visiting from another State or Country

If you live in a major city like New York, you may come across men who are visiting. You may not realize that they’re from another State, and I’m not talking New Jersey. These men may not be forthright that they’re in fact not from the City or event the Country until they meet you in-person. 

8. Interests & Hobbies

You have been texting for a few days and sharing your love of Broadway, reading fiction, and Peloton. He seems like the perfect guy since he has all the same interests. Again, you don’t have to be distrustful and ask him to send you his selfie from Peloton, but it’s not uncommon for a man to lie on their dating profile or lie when chatting to you, so they can win you over. 

guy lies about his interests on his dating profile

9. Weight / Body Type

Another lie that’s all too common on dating profiles, is men’s weight. Their photos may make them seem fit, but when you both meet up, you realize he has a dad bod or worse a potbelly. You can try resorting to asking for their Instagram beforehand, but it’s tough to figure out what they truly look like until you get on that first date.

10. Occupation 

It’s all too common that Facebook or Google would be listed on their online dating profile as their occupation. Are they lying? You could look them up on LinkedIn, but again that’s likely overstepping, plus they can see that you viewed their profile unless you have the upgraded LinkedIn profile. The best bet is to ask them about their job. You can do so without appearing a gold digger.

11. Income

Speaking about jobs, some men lie about their income. With sites such as Elite Singles, which is absolutely scammy, there is a market for dating wealthy singles. Men may lie about their income to appear successful, but if a man is talking about his income on his dating profile do you really want to go out with him…red flags!

guy lies about his income on his dating profile

12. He Has a Girlfriend

Unfortunately, men cheat. He may even claim he’s in a complicated relationship when he’s not. You can check his Instagram for confirmation on whether or not he is single, but that isn’t always so telling. 

guys lies that he is single

13. He Is Married

One of my friends was recently asked out by a married man in her apartment complex. She asked him, Aren’t you married?! He confidently said yes, but claimed to be in an open relationship. She then said, can I confirm with your wife? She never heard from him again. This is sad but true.

14. Swinger & Into Threesomes

If you’re into the swinging scene, by all means, go for it. However, you may match with a guy on a dating app with the perfect bio, and 20 minutes into your texting conversation, he asks, Would you want to swing with me and my girlfriend? Again, nothing wrong with that, but many men aren’t upfront or don’t list that on their dating profile. There are apps for that sort of thing. 

There you have it, 14 ways guys lie on their online dating profiles. Again, I don’t want you to be distrustful of men, but please be smart. You never know who is behind the profile. If you have stories of how guys lied on their online dating profile, shoot us an email at hello@getfilteroff.com

Categories
Dating Tips

20 Ways to Avoid Being Catfished on Dating Apps

Reshuffling your plans, doing your makeup, taking the train, getting to your date and then quickly realizing he catfished you is a disheartening feeling. For anyone who doesn’t know what catfishing is, it is when a person is dishonest about their photos or other personal information. This is often done to make oneself appear younger or to come off as more successful to meet the date’s expectations. Unfortunately, it’s extremely dishonest and is a scummy thing to do, wasting your date’s time. According to Metro, catfishing can happen to anyone and occurs more so to men. In fact, 43% of men have been a victim of catfishing, while only 28% of women have.

Here are 20 ways to avoid being catfished on dating apps:

1. Never Give Money

It’s not atypical for someone on a dating app to ask to be Venmo’d or for you to pay for their gas or public transport ticket so they can meet you. Unfortunately, the likelihood of them meeting you is low after you send payment as they may ghost you soon after receiving payment. Don’t fall for this scam. Would you even want to go out with someone who is begging for money on date number one?

2. Ask for Their Instagram

Everyone nowadays has an Instagram, unless you became addicted and had to forcibly delete the app. By asking for their Instagram you can get a snapshot into their life. Hopefully, they have a few photos displayed, and not only food pics. Unfortunately, not everyone will share their Instagram, especially if they don’t know you.

ask for instagram when online dating

3. Profile Photos Closeups

If all of their photos are closeups, that can be a warning sign. Often people will only take photos closeup to get the best angle and not show what they truly look like versus a photo that’s head to toe. If this is the case, you can always ask for their Instagram.

4. Filters on Photos

With filters can you ever know what the person looks like? Not really, as it removes any sort of blemish or mark. If your prospective date only has filtered photos, ask for a non-filtered picture. If they refuse, take it as a warning sign for a catfish or someone uncomfortable sharing what they look like. 

5. Video Chat With Your Match

This may be uneasy for some people to FaceTime/video chat before the date, but it’s the best way to see if they’re who they say they are. Apps like Filter Off or Bumble use video chat to prevent any sort of catfishing. Yes, it may be uneasy but what’s better, trying it out and feeling uncomfortable or showing up to the date only to realize you have been catfished?

woman using filter off video dating

6. Google Them

If you have their full name or their phone number, you can do a quick search that can pull up results on the person such as their age. It’s not atypical for people to lie about their age when you first meet up. They do this because they’re insecure about sharing their real age. If you’re scared to share your age with someone younger, don’t date them.  

7. Don’t Do Distance

Don’t create an online relationship with someone if they’re in another State and they convince you that you two will meet in the near future. This can lead to a total waste of your time and they may be a catfish. The chances of you two never meeting are high unless you video chat from square one and build a friendship from the start, not on the text!

don't do distance on online dating apps

8. Go on a Date

Don’t solely have a texting relationship. Again, it’s a total waste of time. You’re on a dating app to meet. It’s easy to hide behind a profile and have a good texting game. Try to convert your texting relationship into an in-person date like coffee or drinks and see if that person is who they say they are.

9. Be Curious

Ask your prospective date about what they do for work. It is okay to inquire. The chances of them lying to your face is less likely than them exaggerating about it on their profile.

10. If They Change Their Story, Unmatch Them

If you realize that their story is changing from the start, for example, they admit to lying about something on their profile, stay far away. If they’re willing to lie to you at the start, it’s not unlikely they’ll lie in the future as well.

11. Trust Your Gut

As the saying goes, trust your gut. If you feel uneasy after conversing, you may not be in the wrong even if they sound perfect on text. Texting is not a good representation of the person.

use caution when online dating

12. Don’t Only Trust Them Over Text

If you only have a texting relationship and have never met them or video chatted with them after speaking for awhile, that’s a red flag. Set up a date ASAP or get them on a video call. Some people are masterful at texting, while in-person they may not be who you had imagined.

13. Understand What’s Real and What You Want to Believe

Before you meet in-person do yourself a favor and don’t create a fairytale story about them before you know them. Meet and surprise yourself. You may quickly realize they’re not a fit or even worse, a catfish. On the other hand, they may be the man or woman of your dreams.

14. Don’t Go to Their House on the First Date

This seems obvious, but for safety reasons don’t go to his or her house on the first date, especially if you only know one another over text. They may seem perfect, but you need to know who is behind the profile before taking that step.

don't accept an invitation to their house on the first online date

15. Word of Mouth

If you and your prospective date have mutual friends on Facebook and Instagram, there is no harm asking someone what they think of them. This can be extremely biased, especially if you’re asking someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Use common sense and use this tactic if it makes sense.

16. No Photos

If the person has no photos of themselves, throw up a red flag. Who has a dating app without photos? Their excuse may be that they’re uncomfortable and don’t want their coworkers seeing them on an app. If they refuse to send a photo to you after your match, do yourself a favor and unmatch them. Who has time for that? They may be a 50-year-old living in their mom’s basement or worse someone underage.

17. Use Reverse Image Search

If you’re wary of their photos, use reverse image search on Google. It’s free and fairly easy to do. Save their photo on your computer, go to google images and drag that photo into your browser. If it’s a stock photo, it will show exactly where the photo is from displaying the URL.

18. If Someone Expresses Their Love Quickly

If someone falls for you after 5 minutes, this may be a red flag and a catfish. Also, do you want someone falling for you off the bat before they know you? If your answer is yes, you likely shouldn’t be on dating apps and focusing on yourself a bit more. But all jokes aside, be cautious of this.

19. They Call You Perfect Right off the Bat

Similar to the previous point, if they admire you from the start, it may feel good but again this is a red flag. Get to know who they’re and conversely show who you are.

don't tell your online date that they are perfect

20. Manipulator

If you feel like they’re a master manipulator before ever meeting, be wary. They may just be a catfish. If they can easily manipulate who they are as a person, that’s not to say that they can’t manipulate you. Unfortunately, anyone can be manipulated. See the red flags and stay far away.

This list is not to scare you, but rather inform you of how to avoid being catfished on a dating app. Be smart, trust your gut, and do a little vetting. If you have stories that you’d like to share, submit them to hello@getfilteroff.com

Categories
Dating Tips

Invite for the Spireworks App

There is nothing more romantic than being on a date and changing the lights on the NYC skyscrapers. Spireworks is just that. This secret NYC based app allows you to control the spire lights from your phone. However, not many people can get their hands on this app since it’s invite only. 

As a Spireworks user, you can control 3 spires in NYC — One Five One West 42 (H&M Building), One Bryant Park, and One World Trade Center as documented below.https://www.google.com/maps/d/embed?mid=1akB4jKW0RQWHHiFgvKbPRi49lk5ig_1O&hl=en

spireworks invite

Many people anxiously await an invite from a friend, but the likelihood is pretty low since not many people are on the app. At Filter Off we believe in creating authentic connection. There is nothing more beautiful than having a memorable first date that you and your date will remember forever. So imagine you’re on a rooftop and you ask your date his or her favorite color. You say “look up” and change it to the color they requested. Nothing more romantic than that…

Filter Off, the live video video dating app is offering the chance to get a free invite for the Spireworks app. All you have to do is sign up with this code NGXRFR for a chance to win a free invite to Spireworks. Once you sign up and use the app at least 1 time, you will be entered into a raffle with a chance to win a Spireworks invite.

Here’s our proof that we are not bullshitting you.

spireworks invitation

If you’re unfamiliar with Filter Off, this is how it works:

Every night at 7 pm video chat with 3 new people!

  1. 60 seconds to connect with your date through live video.
  2. After the call, decide whether to match or pass.
  3. If you both give a thumbs up, you’re matched.
  4. Send a video message or live video chat with them.
  5. If you like each other, ask them out for coffee or dinner!

Spireworks launched in 2010 and has amassed about 10,000 users. Anyone interested in using the app must receive an invite from a current user, who is given a limited number of invitations. Each night after sunset the user can choose a building and select a color as well as it’s movement — Shift, Fill, Pulse, and Sparkle.https://www.youtube.com/embed/HXhQOVg5Xt4

Here are some of the questions that I had about Spireworks 

How do I join Spireworks? The app is invitation only.

How does Spireworks work? It is controlled via an API.

What happens if there’s more than one person? Each of the buildings will allow for a select number of concurrent users. If there are more than 1 user at a time, a queue will be formed and the user will wait their turn. There is a waiting time that will display when your session will begin.

This is how Spireworks works

  1. Before sunset there is a countdown to when Spireworks begins (sunset)
how spireworks works

2. After sunset you have the ability to use Spireworks at select skyscrapers in NYC

3. Control the spire light

Categories
Dating Tips

A New Dating App Is Committed To Cutting Down On Sketchy Encounters

Originally seen on Glam

Over the last several years, much of the stigma surrounding online dating has drifted away. As schedules get busier and screen time increases, swiping has become common practice when it comes to meeting new people — so much so, a recent report found that a majority of married couples today met their spouse through online dating. But unfortunately, with the good comes the bad: As digital dating has skyrocketed so have instances of sexual assault.

In 2016, the UK’s National Crime Agency (NCA) reported that online dating-related sexual assault had increased a staggering 450 percent in the past six years. In 2018, police in Denver, CO, reported 53 crimes in which the victim and suspect met on a dating app, with rape accounting for 34 percent of the offenses.

It’s clear that dating app users, particularly women, need to be taking precautions to protect themselves, but a brand new app recognizes the responsibility doesn’t belong only to the user. Filter Off is committed to reducing sketchy situations by allowing potential dates to get to know each other better — before they even match.

filter off

The app has eliminated swiping and messaging altogether; the only way to get acquainted with potential dates is in a 60 second FaceTime-style chat, which allows users to really see and speak to the person behind the profile. Afterwards, if both users want to continue, they are entered into a match and can continue video chatting or exchanging video messages.

Okay, let’s state the obvious: Video messaging offers plenty of opportunity for lewd behavior, however, this isn’t something the company has overlooked. If either party becomes uncomfortable during a chat, they can immediately “X” out of the conversation and/or flag the other user for inappropriate content.

This system allows matches to get a more genuine read on each other, cutting down on uncomfortable or potentially dangerous first dates, explains Zach Schleien, founder of the app.

Filter Off
iStock

In addition to those concerned with safety, Schleien wants Filter Off to be a destination for people dedicated to the idea of actually dating — which makes sense, considering those who aren’t as serious will be less inclined to hop on a video chat.

“I’ve always been frustrated with how time consuming dating apps can be,” Schleien tells GLAM. “According to one study, the average user spends 10 hours a week swiping. I don’t have that type of time, and I don’t think most people do either.” As a solution, he started asking his matches to jump on a video chat before meeting up. These chats helped both Schleien and his dates cut to the chase, avoiding hours of fruitless swiping or messaging.

At the end of the day, the goal of Filter Off is to eliminate blind messaging so that users can go on dates with people they have previously established some sort of connection and comfort level with. Of course, there are other steps that should always be taken to protect yourself when online dating, such as always meeting in a public place, making sure a friend knows where you are, and driving yourself home. But most importantly, you should always trust your gut. If someone is giving you a bad vibe, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

Download Filter Off

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Uncategorized

Tinder Versus Hinge

As the online dating debate rages, many daters ask what’s better Tinder or Hinge? Tinder and Hinge have been around for 8 years, but Hinge has recently gained notoriety after pivoting from a traditional swipe app. Both of these dating apps are extremely effective in landing yourself an online date but they do have their stark differences. This article will take a deep dive into Tinder versus Hinge. 

Dating App – Tinder

Let’s start with Tinder. Tinder has become known as a hookup app, and there’s some truth to that. Many guys may want a quick fix and take it less seriously than Hinge, but if you respect your boundaries and unmatch the thirsty men, you can find your diamond in the rough. 

Tinder Profile Creation 

Tinder allows you to add photos, an about me, job title, company, school, etc.. Pretty basic info to get started. Once you create your profile, you can begin swiping. With Tinder Plus, you can hide your age and distance.

Tinder Plus & Tinder Gold

As mentioned above with Tinder plus you can hide attributes on your profile. You can also adjust your location. Tinder pulls your coordinates based on location, so if you live outside of a major city you will have fewer matches versus changing your location to the major city nearby.

You can also adjust your location when traveling abroad. Change your location one week before you arrive, so you can line up your dates when you arrive. 

With Tinder Gold, you can see who has already liked you. However, it is highly suspect — they don’t show you everyone that liked you, even though they claim they do. When you do see someone that has liked you, you can swipe right on them immediately, resulting in a match. 

With Tinder’s premium pricing, you also get a boost monthly, resulting in up to 10x higher visibility of your profile. You will get a ton of matches especially if you boost your profile on a Sunday night. 

You can also pay separately for a Super Boost, increasing your profile visibility 100x. This will cost you $130 for 12 hours. 

Tinder is making some serious money from its add-ons. 

Tinder Plus Features

Upgrade to Tinder Plus for premium features like: 

  • Unlimited Likes 
  • Rewind your last swipe 
  • 5 Super Likes a day
  • 1 Boost a month 
  • Passport to swipe around the world 
  • No ads 
  • To subscribe, open Tinder > tap the profile icon > Settings > Get Tinder Plus. 

Tinder Gold Features

With Tinder Gold, you get access to all the same features that Plus offers, as well as exclusive access to our Likes You and Top Picks features. 

  • New Top Picks every day 
  • Unlimited Likes 
  • Rewind your last swipe 
  • 5 Super Likes a day
  • 1 Boost a month 
  • Passport to swipe around the world 
  • No ads 
  • To subscribe, open Tinder > tap the profile icon > Settings > Get Tinder Gold.
tinder premium and tinder gold

Swiping on Tinder

Back to the app functionality. As you likely know, Tinder is a swiping app. If you like someone swipe right, conversely if you don’t, swipe left. Once you and your perspective date swipe right, you’re entered into a match where you can proceed to text. 

Dating App – Hinge

Hinge has reverted away from swiping, leading to a lengthy registration process. They try to create the precedent that you must share a ton of info about yourself to lead to high-quality matches. Aside from adding your photos and basic info, they ask for your education level, height, family plans, vices (drinking, smoking, drugs). When filling out this lengthy section you can indicate what you’re looking for on each preference section. These more detailed preferences are for premium users only. You also have an opportunity to highlight your personality by filling in facts about yourself or what you’re looking for. This provides a deeper dive into who you’re versus Tinder which is more surface level, relying more so on your photos.

Below is the difference between Hinge’s free membership versus paid. 

Free Hinge membership:

  • Filters for gender, location, age, distance, ethnicity, and religion.
  • The same curated community of relationship-seekers as Preferred membership.

Preferred Hinge membership:

  • Basic Hinge filters plus additional filters for height, whether someone has children, whether someone wants children, politics, drinking, smoking, marijuana, and drug use.
  • Unlimited number of likes to use
  • Option to see everyone who likes you at the same time in one organized view.
  • Subscriptions automatically renew unless auto-renew is turned off at least 24 hours before the end of the current period.
  • Your account will be charged for renewal within 24 hours prior to the end of the current period.

Matching on Hinge

Hinge used to be a swiping app and claim to be a social network for dating now. Justin McLeod, the founder of Hinge claimed to me that they weren’t a dating app, which I totally don’t buy.

conversation with the founder of hinge, justin mcleod

Without swiping you see one profile at a time. You can essentially like one of their photos or one of their interesting factoids in their profile while providing an (optional) comment.

Again, by seeing each dater’s facts and photos laid out one under the next, you get a better idea of who the person is from a personality and value perspective. As a premium user, you can even filter out people that may not be a fit for you, for example, a smoker, etc. 

Once you like one of their photos of facts, they get notified and can like you back. Once you both like each other, you’re entered into a match, similar to Tinder. 

Is Tinder or Hinge a better dating app?

Tinder and Hinge are worthy apps. Tinder has become the quintessential dating app on the market, but Hinge has made a name for itself being known more so as a relationship app. Both dating apps that take a tremendous amount of time to go from swiping to asking someone out on a date. If you’re looking for a ton of matches, Tinder is the way to go. If you’re looking for something more serious and willing to put more effort into each match, stick with Hinge.