Online dating sucks. You spend time swiping for hours, spending money on dates you don’t enjoy, and being catfished. It’s a rough scene when it comes to online dating. Below are 18 reasons online dating sucks.
Reasons Online Dating Sucks
1. Time to Swipe & Message
Swiping and messaging on an online dating app takes time. You first have to swipe for hours. You’ll begin to match with a few people. You then need to message those people within the app. The majority of those people never message you back, but there’s a glimmer of hope. A few do message you back. The majority of those in-app messages go nowhere. One seems like it’s going somewhere. You ask for their number. They give you their number. You text them. The text you back. This proceeds for a few more days. You finally ask them out. You eventually go out.
It’s an exhausting process, but that’s the typical process when it comes to online dating apps. It’s a time suck.
Going on dates cost money, and typically it’s not cheap. As a man in a major city like NYC, you have the cost of a subway ($5.50 round trip) and the costs of drinks. If you have 2 drinks each, your bill with tip is at least $60. That’s not cheap to be spending on someone you don’t really know! Aside from the cost of the date, dating apps can be costly. Tinder, for example, allows you to Super Boost upwards of $50 to have your profile seen 100x more. With dating apps, you often feel like you need to purchase their premium features to actually go on dates.
After texting for weeks you finally meet! You’re so excited, but when you sit down at the bar, your date looks nothing like their photos. Unfortunately, catfishing on dating apps is not uncommon. With filters, it’s hard to get a good representation of a person.
4. People lie on their online dating profiles
People lie on their online dating profiles. Whether it be their age, height, income. The list goes on and on. It’s also difficult to determine whether your date is being honest. It can take weeks if not months to start to get a full picture of your date.
5. Last-minute cancellations
You just had your 9-5, you cook dinner, shower, and get ready for your date. But then you get the dreaded text 30 minutes beforehand. “Hey! So sorry something came up.” It’s happened to all of us and it sucks. Aside from killing our plans, it leaves us feeling crappy and ready to give up on online dating altogether.
6. Ghosting after the date
Another reason why online dating sucks is ghosting. Many people would rather ghost then tell you that they are just not that into you. I get it, people are uncomfortable in hurting someone’s feelings, but if you begin to avoid someone’s texts that’s a pretty shitty thing to do to someone.
7. Not vibing on date
After texting for weeks, you may think you found your person, however, texting is an unreliable source on whether you have chemistry with this person. The only way to really determine whether you’re a good match is to see each other face to face. According to Inc, you determine whether you’re into someone in just 3 seconds.
8. Never-ending text messages
We all do it. We think texting is an actual conversation. Sadly it’s not. It’s a good way to confirm plans, but not to have a conversation to get to know one another. Before going on a first date, the never-ending texting conversation can seriously feel just like that…never-ending. Instead of texting, meet them in-person or perhaps jump on a video chat.
9. They may be thinking about their other dates
When you go on a date, that guy or girl may have just gotten off a date. Or more likely, have been on a couple other dates just that week. In short, you’re just another date. Whether it works out or not is to be determined, but yes you’re not the first person they may be dating that month.
What is your date actually looking for? Sex, a long-term relationship, friends with benefits? It’s tough to determine from a profile photo and a brief photo. Tinder nowadays has been deemed a hookup app, so you really don’t know what you’re getting until you go on your first date. The actions of your dates are a better indicator than what they may say they are looking for over text.
11. Dick pics
Especially as a woman, you may get a ton of unsolicited dick pics. For some reason, men think it’s socially appropriate to send a pic of them masturbating. It’s absolutely disgusting and stupid. At that point, they’re just trying to get off. Hit the block button if they send one.
12. Paradox of choice
In short, the paralysis of choice is a phenomenon that when you have too many choices it leads to anxiety and makes it extremely difficult to make a choice at all. With online dating, you have infinite choices. Once you begin seeing someone you’ll see someone who may seem better for you. How do you combat the choice especially when it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side? The what if’s of meeting someone better is intoxicating for many online daters.
Online dating is stressful. Being stressed out in the online dating scene is not uncommon. You may be stressed that you’re single and still haven’t found your person. You may be stressed because you have to commit to spending time swiping. Or perhaps you’re stressed because you’ve been ghosted a number of times and unsure what you’re doing wrong. The list goes on and on.
Online dating has attracted prostitution and shady individuals looking to profit off you. Do not send money to someone in exchange they will meet you or send you a nude photo. Aside from it being illegal, they may just take your money and block you.
15. Algorithms are unreliable
Many dating apps claim that they can find you your perfect match, however, it’s BS since there is no algorithm to find love. Finding love is about putting yourself out there and attending events/hobbies that you personally enjoy. If you love to salsa dance, attend a salsa class. If you enjoy volunteering, go for it. You may meet someone who shares your common interests.
16. Opportunity cost
Aside from online dating being a large time drain, it also is a huge opportunity cost, especially if the date is crummy. One way to minimize the risk of a bad first date is to jump on a quick FaceTime chat to see if you and your date vibe. The last thing that you want to do is attend a date and realize you’re not compatible. Instead of going on that bad date, you could have hit a bar or gone dancing with your friends instead. The one thing you can’t get back is your time.
Online dating can be scary and potentially dangerous. If you do an online date, make sure to meet in a public setting. Feel them out before meeting somewhere that puts you in a vulnerable situation.
Many dating apps are filled with bots. A bot is a fake user that imitates an actual human. It’s a nuisance and reconfirms why online dating sucks.
As you can see the list is extensive on why online dating sucks. If you’d like to share other reasons why online dating sucks, shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org